Nov. 28

So lately I've had no contact with any of my 'friends'. It's my fault of course because I refuse to show that I'm online anymore. The reason for that though is I'm tired of seeing all the people online that are either 'busy' 'away' or 'doing assignments' and then the people who are there just don't wanna talk. So I've left on my personal message which I'm sure no ones noticed yet that if they need to contact me to phone. Fat chance. People only talk online and through texting now no ones going to phone me if they need to talk to me or something. I've been trying to catch up on my online course these past few days. It makes me really angry cuz the shit there is just so dumb I don't know how to do it and if I get help I just start getting angry. Well that's why I'm writing here now. I was working on it got frustrated and now I'm pissed. I worked for my sister yesterday and got some money, only thing is I probably wont be spending it on myself. We have a family christmas draw and I have to buy something for my bratty little brother and then my friends want to have a christmas draw for our group too which I wouldn't mind too much if I didn't have to spend money I don't have to hang out with them whenever they feel like inviting me places. Man I'm glad most people don't see this because I really am just ranting and being angry. I mean I guess deep down I do feel like this some what which is why I can say it here. Whatever... I really need to get a life. I sit here and do nothing. Actually that's a lie this is the first time I've been on my computer in like a week. But I still need a life. I need to not be an ugly loser and get a boyfriend or something. My little bratty brother even has a girlfriend for gods sake! Grah this isn't helping I'm just getting more pissed. I'm done now.

Nov 5

I was super hyper when I got home from school today, early because I had a spare last and mother picked me up, we watched HP 5 I was crazy and excited for my Nii-san to come home for this weekend. We got him, we got home, I was hyper again once it was dark and started playing in my nieces costume box, I fit into a dress I used to wear when I was 4 with a red scarf, a pink tiara and my dad's big sunglasses. I thought I looked wicked and wanted a picture for facebook so I tried to ask my little brother to take a picture but he was busy talking to his girlfriend on the phone and wouldn't. After messing around with my older brother and trying to dress him up the smelly smoke beer smelling man got annoyed and told me to stop and was being grumpy. So I figured I just wasn't wanted, which was true, I'm a girl and just plain annoying so I left, I'm now super depressed for no reason and I feel like crying but I think that's just stupid. I'm bored and have nothing to do no one's online and I suspect most of them are together. Maybe not even that maybe they're just with their 'other halves' "there's someone in the world for everyone" yeah fucking right. Not for me.