Oct 4

Hate this stupid online course. It's retarded. Like beyond retarded. All it is is charts of personality shit or characteristics of myself. I had to get my friends to look at them and decide what characteristics I had that they saw. It wasn't any better then myself. out of all the things there which we about 50 of them, after thinking forever the most they could pick was like 5. and get this it's rather funny actually, non of my friends thought i was 'friendly' hahaha I know right well i guess this is one way of finding out what my friends really thought of me. non of them thought I was helpful or careful or understanding or tactful, in fact one of them laughed at this haha, or kind (snort course I'm not I mean I only helped a random person on the second day of school that's not kind at all) or empathetic or logical heh or stable but then again with the shit i write here I suppose they're right. My little brother's been getting on my nerves lately. More so then usual. he's always saying how i'm dying because i dont eat and stuff hahaha oh if thats all it took, a day of not eating to die. but no its not that easy. nothings that easy. I had 2 nightmares last nice lol one was like a horror movie the other one was just one of those random bad dreams that make no sense when you think about it. Either way as soon as i woke up from the second one i bolted upstairs to my mothers room in hopes of getting some sleep in her comfy bed. I did. I also got to stay home. but while i was sleeping in her bed i had another dream. it wasnt a nightmare but just a sad dream. my friend that goes abck to that hell hole of a school with me was talking to my little brother on msn asking if i went to school today he told her no i stayed home sick because i hadnt been feeling good either so thats why my mother let me stay home, anyway she called me stupid for leaving her alone funny thing is she leaves me alone every day because she has coop. the day im sick i'm stupid for leaving her alone for ONE day. lmao it just gets me giggling every time i think of how my friends say they like me when it couldn't be more obvious that they wouldn't care less if I died. well whatever i'm done.